my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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