i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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