so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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