i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
