If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
