How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
