dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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