Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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