I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
My pussy is not your playground.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
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