Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
