I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
