I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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