we have officially lost it.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
