I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
