Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
