Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
