Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Life is so much better after having sex.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
