i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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