I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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