she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
50% drunk capacity currently
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
