Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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