I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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