If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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