I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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