I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
