home. puking in laundry basket.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
birth control should be required to get into college
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
