if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
