I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
