No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
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