just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
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He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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