unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
