i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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