You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
