ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
