My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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