i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Dear god my vagina.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
