Need sex. Gaining weight.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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