she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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