would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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