she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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