now i know why i became what i already was.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize