I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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