Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
it glows. i had to have it.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
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