Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Screwed.edu
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
