Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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