he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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