Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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