he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Can you bring me the toilet please
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
