Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
