either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
