i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
