they need to just BURY HIM!
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
