So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
