my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
