My brain says no but my pants say off.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
