my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
