he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
There are leaves in my underwear?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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