carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
