Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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