Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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