I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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