PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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