Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
