Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
