I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
