You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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