**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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