The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
